Becoming a servant, instead of being served

Well, I left that title out there long enough all by itself.
Have you ever asked God what he wanted from you or expected from you? I have asked God that very question many times. One of those times was about 5 years after we moved to our present home. I had just had about the longest spiritual winter I have experienced.(5 years to be excact)

I truly believed I was doing what God wanted me to be doing. I went to church and was very involved with Sunday School, Bible Studies, ladies groups, baked for bake sales, cooked for potluck dinners. Made sure my kids were active in church, Sunday School, youth group. I took care of my family and worked full time. I listened to Christian music, read Christian books, kept a journal, read my Bible everyday.What more could God want from me.

From everything I stated above wouldn't you say I was a good servant? Well, I thought so. Until one day I realized, that even though I did all this stuff, I was serving self, not God. I still was living in that give me mode. Hey God look what I am doing, don't I deserve to have this or that, and I lived in crisis mode. Even though I spent time with God everyday, I hadn't realized that I was always asking for what I wanted and never truly asking God what he wanted. I went to God as though he were my servant, was there to serve all my needs, wants and desires.

On that particular morning I asked God why my life still seemed to be in such turmoil. I thought I was doing all the right stuff. And bam it hit me like a ton of bricks, Who do you serve? Who is your master? With those two questions I realized that I had not been serving God, but self. I became a servant that day. My spiritual winter ended. I started every morning asking God want he wanted from me for that day. I truly enjoy serving God. He is full of surprises. My life has never been fuller. I still have had some winters, but as we all know that spring comes after winter with new life. Winters are needed. I think they are a time of learning. Spring grows that learning into life lessons.

Trust

As I started to learn more about God, I learned it is relational and in any relationship there needs to be trust. But trust is one thing I had a hard time with, because the very people who should have been instilling trust in me are the very ones, that took the trust away. As I starting working on having a relationship with God, I would pray about something and he would answer my prayer. I started off with small things, because of my trust issues, but as He answered those small prayers even when the answer was no, I was learning I could trust God to do what he said he would. Of course this wasn't an overnight thing either. I have been building a relationship with God for 24 years. I can say today I trust God with my life.

God has healed the old hurts and wounds. Some were deeper than others and I still feel the hurts sometimes, but as the past rears its ugly head, I go to God and he helps me through His Word and leads me to the scripture I need to read or maybe to a book, or a person. God is amazing in the ways he talks to us.(me)

As I have come to trust God, I have been able to give Him more of myself. I learned it is easy to trust a God who doesn't demand. He won't push his way into your life. He will nudge once in awhile, but he lets you come to him. He won't interfere unless you ask him to.

Revelations 3:20 "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." God won't come in until you open the door.

You Are Not Alone

We are never alone in Christ. There is a triangle God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. They are always there for us. Now, if you have not come to know Christ, the above statement probably will not make a whole lot of sense to you. Where am I going with this? My title for this piece is "You Are Not Alone" You see that no matter what dilemma, crisis, hurt, abuse, loss, divorce, cancer, other illnesses you are facing there are others that are going through and have gone through the same things, maybe not the exact same circumstances, but close and understand what you are feeling.(I am not saying what you are going through is not rough, miserable or however else you want to describe it. Just want you to know that there is hope, that there is light at the end of the tunnel.)

Did you know that Christ has suffered everything that we can imagine and more. When Christ died on the cross he suffered for every sin. He rose three days later, as our Savior. He can heal those hurts, He knows how you feel, so even when you think you are all alone in your suffering, you are not. God is there, he sent His Son to you and also the Holy Spirit as our Comforter, Helper,Friend. When ever you need a friend, pick up God's Word the Bible, lift you voice up to God in prayer(which just means talk to him like you would a friend).

I at one time thought I was alone and that I was the only one that was suffering(yea, I knew others had problems, but not like mine). That kind of thinking keeps us trapped. It doesn't have to be that way. Christ knows and he wants to help us and be there for us.