Becoming a servant, instead of being served

Well, I left that title out there long enough all by itself.
Have you ever asked God what he wanted from you or expected from you? I have asked God that very question many times. One of those times was about 5 years after we moved to our present home. I had just had about the longest spiritual winter I have experienced.(5 years to be excact)

I truly believed I was doing what God wanted me to be doing. I went to church and was very involved with Sunday School, Bible Studies, ladies groups, baked for bake sales, cooked for potluck dinners. Made sure my kids were active in church, Sunday School, youth group. I took care of my family and worked full time. I listened to Christian music, read Christian books, kept a journal, read my Bible everyday.What more could God want from me.

From everything I stated above wouldn't you say I was a good servant? Well, I thought so. Until one day I realized, that even though I did all this stuff, I was serving self, not God. I still was living in that give me mode. Hey God look what I am doing, don't I deserve to have this or that, and I lived in crisis mode. Even though I spent time with God everyday, I hadn't realized that I was always asking for what I wanted and never truly asking God what he wanted. I went to God as though he were my servant, was there to serve all my needs, wants and desires.

On that particular morning I asked God why my life still seemed to be in such turmoil. I thought I was doing all the right stuff. And bam it hit me like a ton of bricks, Who do you serve? Who is your master? With those two questions I realized that I had not been serving God, but self. I became a servant that day. My spiritual winter ended. I started every morning asking God want he wanted from me for that day. I truly enjoy serving God. He is full of surprises. My life has never been fuller. I still have had some winters, but as we all know that spring comes after winter with new life. Winters are needed. I think they are a time of learning. Spring grows that learning into life lessons.