Part Two

One thing I want to say here, is that the stuff that happens to us, helps shape who we become. Those things should never become excuses, for who we become, because we always have a choice. I know God uses even the bad in our lives, for good.

I have learned that no matter how far we bury things, they have a way of working their way up to the surface. I was sexually molested, by an uncle and my brother when I was very young. I kept those memories buried, and from time to time they would surface. I never told my family until I was 40 years old. I only share because this has had an impact on my life.

By the time I was in high school my mother was addicted to prescription drugs. If she were diagnosed today, it would be bi-polar and manic depressive. But, according to her the world was screwed up, not her. My dad just went along with everything she did.

So, of course I took the first way out, when I graduated from high school. I married. Only to find out that I had jumped out of the frying pan right into the fire. The moment I said I do, I learned that the guy I thought was so terrific, wasn't. I became his property and the physical and mental abuse started. Fortunately, my sister and my dad were very supportive and I only remained in that marriage for 4 months. By this time at the ripe old age of 19, I realized that there was a deep dark whole inside of me, a black void. No matter what I did, it was always there.

I met my husband Mark, that same summer. It was a miracle that he stuck by me. During the time we were dating, my sister tried to commit suicide. Then my mother followed that up with her own attempt. My mom's behaviors only got worse.

Mark and I dated for a year then married. During the second year of our marriage we moved to Nebraska. I really thought, that everything would be better. It wasn't, 'cause the deep void moved right along with me.

More to come.

In Faith,
Deb