It has been awhile

It has been quite awhile since I have even logged on here. We have bought a house and are moving. The house was built in 1920, hasn't been lived in for a very long time. We spend all of our spare time working on the house. So, I haven't been on the computer much. Check my e-mail. God is still working on me. Will have some insights to share later.

Mired

Do you ever feel that no matter how hard you try to move forward that your "feet" won't move. I feel that is where I am at. I am mired in the place I am at. I say I have gone to God on this, but probably have not really expressed it to him in those terms. I am tired of where I am at and want to move on. Move on to where I am not sure. But, I am tired of the same o same o. I do look at each new day as a new opportunity to do something, but end up not changing. Just go through the motions. Has anyone else felt this? I am asking for your prayers.

Father God,
I seem to be stuck, mired in the muck, help me out!!
Everything by your will, not mine.
In Jesus, Amen

I encourage everyone to check out the new links I have posted.

Where Have I Been?

I cannot believe that I haven't done anything on here in a whole month. May just flew by. No matter where I have been. God has been there working on some part of my life. We are in the process of buying a house. God is really teaching me about patience. When I decide to do something, I like to go full bore ahead. I want everything to fall into place and move along. Well, that is not quite happening and I have been very frustrated. One day I said to God, what is going on? I just want this whole thing over and done. I receive Girlfriends in God devotions and one day the devotion was Hurry up God. The devotion of course was on being patient and waiting on God and how things turn out better when we do things in God's time and not ours. I am patient is some things but then there are times when I want to go full speed ahead and those are the times that God needs to hold me back, because I don't see the whole picture as he does. It is so great when God talks to me and I listen. I know that God will always give me an answer, but I am still amazed when he does. He is an awesome God.

I have been writing about being a servant. Questions have been raised which have challenged me to dig deeper. I have come across a web site that says it so much better than I can.

Servanthood

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Phil 2:1-4 (Phi) Now if you have known anything of Christ's encouragement and of his reassuring love; if you have known something of the fellowship of his Spirit, and of compassion and deep sympathy, do make my joy complete--live together in harmony, live together in love, as though you had only one mind and spirit between you. Never act from motives of rivalry or personal vanity, but in humility think more of each other than you do of yourselves. None of you should think only of his own affairs, but consider other people's interests also.

Phil 2:3-4 (TEB) Don't do anything from selfish ambition, or from a cheap desire to boast; but be humble towards each other, never thinking you are better than others. And look out for each other's interests, not just for your own.

Phil 2:5-8 (Phi) Let your attitude to life be that of Christ Jesus himself. For he, who had always been God by nature, did not cling to his privileges as God's equal, but stripped himself of every advantage by consenting to be a slave by nature and being born a man. And, plainly seen as a human being, he humbled himself by living a life of utter obedience, to the point of death, and the death he died was that of a common criminal. That is why God has lifted him to the heights, and has given him the name beyond all names.

How To Get Ahead In The Kingdom Of God...

John 13:12-17 (NIV) When he [Jesus] had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. "You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord' and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

Mat 20:27-28 (NEB) "...whoever wants to be great must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be the willing slave of all--like the Son of Man; He did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give up his life as a ransom for many."

John 12:25-26 (NIV) "The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me."

Richard Foster: "In some ways we would prefer to hear Jesus' call to deny father and mother, houses and land for the sake of the gospel than his word to wash feet. Radical self-denial gives the feel of adventure. If we forsake all, we even have the chance at glorious martyrdom. But in service we must experience the many little deaths of going beyond ourselves. Service banishes us to the mundane, the ordinary, the trivial.

"In the Discipline of service there is also great liberty. Service allows us to say 'no!' to the world's games of promotion and authority. It abolishes our need and desire for a 'pecking order'."

Eph 5:21 (Jer) Give way to one another in obedience to Christ.

Oswald Chambers: "It is one thing to go on the lonely way with dignified heroism, but quite another thing if the line mapped out for you by God means being a door-mat under other people's feet."

Free To Serve

Rom 6:20-22 (Jer) When you were slaves to sin, you felt no obligation to righteousness, and what did you get from this? Nothing but experiences that now make you blush, since that sort of behavior ends in death. Now, however, you have been set free from sin, you have been made slaves of God, and you get a reward leading to your sanctification and ending in eternal life.

Rom 6:23 (Phi) Sin PAYS its servants: the wage is death. But God GIVES to those who serve him: his free gift is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Rom 7:6 (Jer) But now we are rid of the Law, freed by death from our imprisonment, free to serve in the new spiritual way and not the old way of a written law.

1 Pet 2:16 (NIV) Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God.

Gal 5:13 (Jer) My brothers, you were called, as you know, to liberty; but be careful, or this liberty will provide an opening for self-indulgence. Serve one another, rather, in works of love.

Mat 24:45-47 (NIV) "Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom the master has put in charge of the servants in his household to give them their food at the proper time? It will be good for that servant whose master finds him doing so when he returns. I tell you the truth, he will put him in charge of all his possessions."

Who's In Control

Mother Teresa: "I belong to Jesus. He must have the right to use me without consulting me."

1 Cor 6:19-20 (NIV) ...You are not your own; you were bought with a price...

Rom 14:8 (Jer) If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord, so that alive or dead we belong to the Lord.

Richard Foster: "A natural and understandable hesitancy accompanies any serious discussion of service. The hesitancy is prudent since it is wise to count the cost before plunging headlong into any Discipline. We experience a fear that comes out something like this: "If I do that, people will take advantage of me; they will walk all over me."

"Right here we must see the difference between choosing to serve and choosing to be a servant. When we chose to serve, we are still in charge. We decide whom we will serve and when we will serve. And if we are in charge, we will worry a great deal about anyone stepping on us, that is, taking charge over us. But when we choose to be a servant, we give up the right to be in charge. There is great freedom in this. If we voluntarily choose to be taken advantage of, then we cannot be manipulated. When we choose to be a servant, we surrender the right to decide when we will serve. We become available and vulnerable.

"Self-righteous service picks and chooses whom to serve. Sometimes the low and defenseless are served because that will ensure a humble image. True service is indiscriminate in its ministry. It has heard the command of Jesus...

Mark 9:35 (NIV) ..."If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all."

Giving Up Your Rights

Luke 12:45-47 (NIV) "But suppose the servant says to himself, 'My master is taking a long time in coming,' and he then begins to beat the menservants and maidservants and to eat and drink and get drunk. The master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he is not aware of. He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the unbelievers. That servant who knows his master's will and does not get ready or does not do what his master wants will be beaten with many blows."

Oswald Chambers: "Obstinacy and self-will will always stab Jesus Christ. It may hurt no one else, but it wounds His Spirit... Every time we stand on our rights and insist that this is what we intend to do, we... vex and grieve His Spirit."

Rom 12:1 (KJV) I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

"Love Slaves"

Richard Foster: "Consider the perspective of a slave. A slave sees all of life from the viewpoint of slavery. He does not see himself as possessing the same rights as free men and women. Please understand me, when this slavery is involuntary it is cruel and dehumanizing. When the slavery is freely chosen, however, everything is changed. Voluntary servitude is a great joy.

Phil 2:17 (NIV) But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you.

"The image of slavery may be difficult for us, but it was not hard for the apostle Paul. He frequently boasted of his slavery to Christ, making lavish use of the first-century concept of the "love slave" (that is, the slave who, out of love, has freely chosen to remain a slave). We do our best to soften Paul's language by translating the word "slave" as "servant." But whatever word we decide to use, let us be certain that we understand that Paul meant he had freely given up his rights."

Acts 20:24 (NIV) ...I consider my life worth nothing to me...

"Therefore, the fear that we will be taken advantage of and stepped on is justified. That is exactly what may happen. But who can hurt someone who has freely chosen to be stepped on? Thomas A. Kempis instructs us to be 'so subject that all men may go over thee and tread upon thee as upon mire of the street.'"

James 1:27 (Phi) Religion that is pure and genuine in the sight of God the Father will show itself by such things as visiting orphans and widows in their distress and keeping oneself uncontaminated by the world.

Flesh Test! How Hard Is It To...?

Richard Foster: "Nothing disciplines the inordinate desires of the flesh like service, and nothing transforms the desires of the flesh like serving in hiddenness. The flesh whines against service but screams against hidden service. It strains and pulls for honor and recognition. It will devise subtle, religiously acceptable means to call attention to the service rendered. If we stoutly refuse to give in to this lust of the flesh, we crucify it. Every time we crucify the flesh, we crucify pride and arrogance."

Jesus, The Suffering Servant, Dives Into Humanity To Rescue A Few

Luke 4:18 (Jer) "The Spirit of the Lord has been given to me, for he has anointed me. He has sent me to bring the good news to the poor, to proclaim liberty to captives and to the blind new sight, to set the downtrodden free..."

Luke 22:27 (NIV) "For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves."

Luke 6:40 (NIV) "A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher."

Mark 10:42-45 (NIV) Jesus called them together and said, "You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

John 15:20 (NIV) "Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also."

Rom 15:1-3 (Wey) As for us who are strong, our duty is to bear with the weaknesses of those who are not strong, and not seek our own pleasure. Let each of us endeavor to please his fellow Christian, aiming at a blessing calculated to build him up. For even the Christ did not seek His own pleasure...

Rom 15:1-3 (Mof) We who are strong ought to bear the burdens that the weak make for themselves and us. We are not to please ourselves; each of us must please his neighbor, doing him good by building up his faith. Christ certainly did not please himself...

1 Pet 4:10-11 (NIV) Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

1 Cor 12:5 (NIV) There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord.

Dive In

Rom 12:9-13 (TEB) Love must be completely sincere. Hate what is evil, hold on to what is good. Love one another warmly as brothers in Christ, and be eager to show respect for one another. Work hard, and do not be lazy. Serve the Lord with a heart full of devotion. Let your hope keep you joyful, be patient in your troubles, and pray at all times. Share your belongings with your needy brothers, and open your homes to strangers.

Gal 5:13 (RSV) ...But through love be servants of one another.

Gal 6:9-10 (Phi) Let us not grow tired of doing good, for, unless we throw in our hand, the ultimate harvest is assured. Let us then do good to all men as opportunity offers, especially to those who belong to the Christian household.

A willing Spirit

"I am the Lord's servant" Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said." Luke 1:38 What a statement. What would our life be like if we served God with this attitude?

church

The post just before this I had to add, because the sentiments that are shared are very true for many of us today.

run with it: the truth comes out

15, 2008

run with it: the truth comes out

run with it: the truth comes out

Servant

Mark 10:45 " For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and give His life as a ransom for many."

When we look to the scriptures for answers we will find them. Does not the above scripture sum it all up, about being a servant. If we are to try to be like Christ, are we not called to serve?

Now where and how we are called to serve will be different for everyone, but we must serve.

I believe that most of us have no clue about being a servant or serving. Little do we realize that we all serve something or someone. All of us that have "jobs" are a servant to that job. We all are servants to our families. We just don't think of those things as serving. But, we have to look further than that,for example if you are a sports fanatic , you serve that sport by following it. What I am trying to get at is that there is different kinds of serving. Anything we devote our attention to we serve. But, that should not be our only serving. Yes, we (most of us anyway have to work) should be servants in our work. We should be servants to our families. We also need to ask ourselves will what I am serving help prepare me for eternal life. But, when we look at Christ's life of being a servant, (I am sure it looks different than mine.) It was not even so much what he did, but the attitude of his heart when he did it. I know that is where I fail. I may serve, but with a poor attitude, sometimes its only out of obligation, is that how we should serve? Christ was a king and he accepted the position of servant, to serve us, to be an example to us. So, I say we should start serving as Christ would. Open our selves up to being that servant we are called to be. I think we would find many more blessings in our lives if we lived this way.

Since I have been on this quest of service to God my whole attitude about being a servant and being served has changed. After the last two posts I have really looked at serving differently. I am a slow learner. Everything we do here and now is in preparation for our eternal home. As we become the servants that God calls us to be, look in your heart. How do you respond when asked to do something for your church, or school, a sick neighbor? and the list could go on and on. Do you respond with the heart of Christ or the selfish self centered heart.

Being a servant is an attitude toward life and what is in your heart.

Being a Servant

Last time I shared about becoming a servant instead of being served. What comes to mind when you think of the word servant? Do you think of someone that waits on another, someone who is under someone else's rule. Do you look at the word servant as another word for slave? I think many have the slave in mind when the word servant is used. I looked up the definition of the word servant; a person employed to perform services; a person employed by the government(public servant); a person devoted to another or to a cause or creed. A servant is one employed, paid for their services, or devoted to anohter(this one I liked) . Because we can want to serve without expecting anything in return. A slave is owned. Some may say to my last comment that Christ paid for us, bought us with his blood and he did, but God gave us our freedom. Christ paid for our sins, but,we were not purchased as slaves.

When we talk about being a servant for God or serving God, I think there is confusion. I believe some people think that to be a servant of God you have to do most of the things that I mentioned before, get involved in church, bake, cook, give of your time, your money, do all the things that others see are important. Now, don't get me wrong if you do those things, that is not wrong if you are doing them, for the right reasons. If you are doing them because, God wants you to do them. But, if you are doing them, because you feel that it is what is expected of you, because of what others think, then who are you serving.

God, may want you to serve in other ways. I read a story by a young mother, she was trying to be active at church and raise her young family. The more she did at church the more she was asked to do. She had a hard time saying no to anything that was asked of her. The more she did of course the less time she had with her family. One day she realized she could not add one more thing to her already busy life, she sank to her knees and asked God what he wanted from her. He said, "Raise your family, teach your children about me, that is what I want from you. It is okay to say no, to the church activities. " When your kids are raised, then you will have time to do other things. She had a peace of mind she hadn't had for a long time. She removed herself from all the committees. She still taught Sunday, but devoted her time to raising her family. Guilt free.
I think there are so many of us out there, that do things because others expect us to do them. We are not doing them because God has told us to or asked us to. Being a servant doesn't mean you are a slave. Do not let what others think, say or do be the reason for doing something. Do what God asks of you. You will know if it is from God. This of course is not always easy to do. Always go to God first. Talk to him. He will let you know. I did so many of the things I did, because I felt it was expected of me. I heard what some of the "church people" said about others, that they felt didn't pull their weight at church, I didn't want them to talk about me. When serving God we (I) cannot let what others think or say, be our (my) influence. Remember it is God to whom you will answer to. Now I still get wrapped up sometimes in what others want from me, or what they have to say. But, more and more I am more aware of what God wants and that is whom I serve. When we serve God, we will be serving others. In all we do we should be giving God all the glory. I know I can do nothing, but what God does through me. God has called me to do things I never thought I could, but I know he works through our(my) weaknesses.

I serve God of my own free will. A free will God gave me. God does not call us to be slaves. He asks us to serve him, he does not demand. I bring this all up, because I do believe that some people confuse being a servant with being a slave, God does not call us to be slaves. So, some chose not to serve at all, some serve for their own glory and there are those that are serving God for the sake of serving God for his glory.

So, I say serve God as God asks you, not as man says you should.

Becoming a servant, instead of being served

Well, I left that title out there long enough all by itself.
Have you ever asked God what he wanted from you or expected from you? I have asked God that very question many times. One of those times was about 5 years after we moved to our present home. I had just had about the longest spiritual winter I have experienced.(5 years to be excact)

I truly believed I was doing what God wanted me to be doing. I went to church and was very involved with Sunday School, Bible Studies, ladies groups, baked for bake sales, cooked for potluck dinners. Made sure my kids were active in church, Sunday School, youth group. I took care of my family and worked full time. I listened to Christian music, read Christian books, kept a journal, read my Bible everyday.What more could God want from me.

From everything I stated above wouldn't you say I was a good servant? Well, I thought so. Until one day I realized, that even though I did all this stuff, I was serving self, not God. I still was living in that give me mode. Hey God look what I am doing, don't I deserve to have this or that, and I lived in crisis mode. Even though I spent time with God everyday, I hadn't realized that I was always asking for what I wanted and never truly asking God what he wanted. I went to God as though he were my servant, was there to serve all my needs, wants and desires.

On that particular morning I asked God why my life still seemed to be in such turmoil. I thought I was doing all the right stuff. And bam it hit me like a ton of bricks, Who do you serve? Who is your master? With those two questions I realized that I had not been serving God, but self. I became a servant that day. My spiritual winter ended. I started every morning asking God want he wanted from me for that day. I truly enjoy serving God. He is full of surprises. My life has never been fuller. I still have had some winters, but as we all know that spring comes after winter with new life. Winters are needed. I think they are a time of learning. Spring grows that learning into life lessons.

Trust

As I started to learn more about God, I learned it is relational and in any relationship there needs to be trust. But trust is one thing I had a hard time with, because the very people who should have been instilling trust in me are the very ones, that took the trust away. As I starting working on having a relationship with God, I would pray about something and he would answer my prayer. I started off with small things, because of my trust issues, but as He answered those small prayers even when the answer was no, I was learning I could trust God to do what he said he would. Of course this wasn't an overnight thing either. I have been building a relationship with God for 24 years. I can say today I trust God with my life.

God has healed the old hurts and wounds. Some were deeper than others and I still feel the hurts sometimes, but as the past rears its ugly head, I go to God and he helps me through His Word and leads me to the scripture I need to read or maybe to a book, or a person. God is amazing in the ways he talks to us.(me)

As I have come to trust God, I have been able to give Him more of myself. I learned it is easy to trust a God who doesn't demand. He won't push his way into your life. He will nudge once in awhile, but he lets you come to him. He won't interfere unless you ask him to.

Revelations 3:20 "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." God won't come in until you open the door.

You Are Not Alone

We are never alone in Christ. There is a triangle God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. They are always there for us. Now, if you have not come to know Christ, the above statement probably will not make a whole lot of sense to you. Where am I going with this? My title for this piece is "You Are Not Alone" You see that no matter what dilemma, crisis, hurt, abuse, loss, divorce, cancer, other illnesses you are facing there are others that are going through and have gone through the same things, maybe not the exact same circumstances, but close and understand what you are feeling.(I am not saying what you are going through is not rough, miserable or however else you want to describe it. Just want you to know that there is hope, that there is light at the end of the tunnel.)

Did you know that Christ has suffered everything that we can imagine and more. When Christ died on the cross he suffered for every sin. He rose three days later, as our Savior. He can heal those hurts, He knows how you feel, so even when you think you are all alone in your suffering, you are not. God is there, he sent His Son to you and also the Holy Spirit as our Comforter, Helper,Friend. When ever you need a friend, pick up God's Word the Bible, lift you voice up to God in prayer(which just means talk to him like you would a friend).

I at one time thought I was alone and that I was the only one that was suffering(yea, I knew others had problems, but not like mine). That kind of thinking keeps us trapped. It doesn't have to be that way. Christ knows and he wants to help us and be there for us.

Christ Changed Me

After that first Bible study I was hooked. At times I have been in 4 or 5 studies at a time. The hunger and thirst I have had to learn about God and Jesus and who I am in them has never stopped. If anything has continued to grow.

I will not tell you that I changed over night. I didn't, the changes in me at first were very subtle. The very first thing I remember giving up was the type of books I read (romance novels). I did not quit reading, just changed the reading material. There are lots of Christian authors, that write really good thrillers, mysteries and even some wonderful love stories.
Bad language started making my hair stand on end. I stopped using bad language. There were some friends that I drifted away from. Did I miss any of those things that changed. Sometimes I did, but there is an enemy out there that will whisper lies, and try to take you back and I did go back once or twice and felt awful afterward. I did question all the time, mostly what would my family and friends would think of me. But wanting to do what God wanted me to do won out. I changed in God's strength not my own. Being in God's grace is the place to be.

Deb

Another A HA moment

I truly love A HA moments. When I have them, I know that God knows, that I finally get something he has been telling me. I had one this morning on my way to work.

I usually use morning travel time to spend time with God. This morning as God and I were chatting. This thought came to me.

God created us and then had to buy us back.

I have thought about this off and on today. I have always believed that God created us. I have known Christ died, and paid for our sins. I guess I am getting at the absurdity of the thought. I put it in terms of a mother giving birth to her child and then having to buy that child. Hope this gives you some food for thought.
(maybe this was just an A HA moment for me)

Deb

Love God

Sorry, I haven't been here for awhile. Been sick.

Looking back I have seen God's hand on me and taking care of me. I am so glad that God doesn't give up on us. Once I realized that God wanted a personal relationship with me I started studying God's word and reading books that help explain his word. I started having quiet time with him (sometimes not so quiet).

God started healing the wounds and hurts from my past. I started changing. Every day with God has been like a new adventure. Now I won't say every day has been wonderful with no problems, cause that wouldn't be true, but with God in the mix it's been bearable.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind,soul and strength."Mark 12:30
God always loves you back.

Deep Void

I was so sure that life would be better after we moved. I for one was happy to be away from the day to day of dealing with my mom. She had become quite a handful.

Culture shock to say the least. We moved to a town of 1000 people and there had been 1100 in my graduating class. I was used to stores being open 24/7 and I learned the store, well the whole town except for the bars closed at 6 pm.

We moved in the fall of 1976 and by early 1977, I had great news, I was pregnant. I was thrilled and so was Mark. Now, I will say that this did kinda fill that deep void, not completely, but I had something wonderful to think about. While I was preparing for baby, Mark was getting into riding motorcycles and his friends were bikers.

This time of peace would end the day I gave birth. My son died 3 hours after he was born. To look at him no one would have known there was anything wrong with him. I had him on his due date. The only thing that got me through was I wanted to be strong for Mark and knowing that my son went on to be with his heavenly Father. I know now that God held me in his arms through this tragedy. At that time I was numb. That deep void swallowed me.

Well, bikers like to party and I had a black hole to fill, so the parties started. I didn't party very long at this point, because I ended up being sick and then discovering I was pregnant again. Was I happy? Yes and no. I was scared to death. It had only been a few months since my son's death. Emotionally I was a wreck. Then I ended up having to have surgery. I was only about 8 weeks along. The Dr. said I could lose the baby during surgery. I didn't and I had a daughter 8 days shy of my son's birthday. My daughter was a gift from God. But, the deep void, black hole was still there and the parties began. We only partied on the weekends, and that is what I lived for. Now I was a good mom. My daughter was well cared for. She stayed with her grandma most weekends. Mark worked out of town all week and was only home on the weekends. So, party we did.This went on for the next 5 years.

When my daughter turned 3, I sent her to Sunday School, mainly because my mother-in-law, thought I should and my friends sent their kids. One Sunday she asked why she had to go if I didn't have to go. So, I started going to church. Now, the partying hadn't stopped, in fact it was worse than ever. I was on a one way trip to the deepest darkest pit of my life. During this time I had another baby. A boy another gift from God . It was at this time some wonderful women at that church, invited me to a Bible study. I started going. What was being said at church and at Bible study started making sense to me. At this point I was on the verge of a divorce and losing my kids. The Bible study we were doing was called "Know the Truth" I accepted Christ at that Bible study.Jesus pulled me from the pit. I had no where else to go,but up to his loving arms.
Now, this was scary for me and yet easy. And guess what, that deep black void, started closing.

Now, here I would like to say the rest is history, but this is where my life begins anew. Now of course there was a lot of other stuff, I just hit the highlights for back ground.

I would like to say my journey began here, but it actually began, before I was born Psalm 139: 13-16. "For you created my inmost being; you knit me in my mother's womb. I praise you, because I am fearfully an wonderfully made; your works are wonderful. I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth. your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. This scripture brings me a peace and joy, just to know that God knew me before I was ever born. He knew everyone of us.

To summarize I have been verbally and sexually abused, a battered wife, a divorcee, I have lost a child and have done things that I am totally ashamed of. I have survived it all because of God's grace. Because his son Jesus died, to save me and others.

The only thing left of the deep black void, is a small crack and I seek God to fill that.

I will continue to share how God has changed my life.

Part Two

One thing I want to say here, is that the stuff that happens to us, helps shape who we become. Those things should never become excuses, for who we become, because we always have a choice. I know God uses even the bad in our lives, for good.

I have learned that no matter how far we bury things, they have a way of working their way up to the surface. I was sexually molested, by an uncle and my brother when I was very young. I kept those memories buried, and from time to time they would surface. I never told my family until I was 40 years old. I only share because this has had an impact on my life.

By the time I was in high school my mother was addicted to prescription drugs. If she were diagnosed today, it would be bi-polar and manic depressive. But, according to her the world was screwed up, not her. My dad just went along with everything she did.

So, of course I took the first way out, when I graduated from high school. I married. Only to find out that I had jumped out of the frying pan right into the fire. The moment I said I do, I learned that the guy I thought was so terrific, wasn't. I became his property and the physical and mental abuse started. Fortunately, my sister and my dad were very supportive and I only remained in that marriage for 4 months. By this time at the ripe old age of 19, I realized that there was a deep dark whole inside of me, a black void. No matter what I did, it was always there.

I met my husband Mark, that same summer. It was a miracle that he stuck by me. During the time we were dating, my sister tried to commit suicide. Then my mother followed that up with her own attempt. My mom's behaviors only got worse.

Mark and I dated for a year then married. During the second year of our marriage we moved to Nebraska. I really thought, that everything would be better. It wasn't, 'cause the deep void moved right along with me.

More to come.

In Faith,
Deb

Beginnings

"The world doesn't need to see how perfect we are: it needs to see how powerful God is. People don't need to see how Christians never have any problems and never make any mistakes; they need to see how God is bigger than our problems and more powerful than our mistakes." -Donna Partow

I really like this statement that Donna Partow made, because before I knew Christ I thought Christians were such perfect people. Oh, how wrong was I.

I grew up in a non-Christian home. My parents did send us kids to Sunday School, but they only went on Christmas and Easter. I quit going to church when I was 12. At that time the adults I knew that went to church, did one thing on Sunday and were different rest of the week. So, I decided I didn't want to be like them. I will say that I always believed in God and believed that Christ was his son. As I look back at my life I see God was always there even during the bad times.

Now, I won't say that my life was all bad growing up because it wasn't. But, life was a roller coaster ride. Never knew from day to day what would or could set off my mom and her temper. If things didn't go her way or us kids did something that would set her off, she didn't spank, and sometimes I thought that would have been better, than her tongue lashings. I learned very young to be as good as possible, but I was labeled as a bad child, so it seemed that no matter how good I tried to be, somehow I still got into trouble.(some of which a younger sister provoked). My dad was pretty even tempered, but even he never stopped my mom's tirades. I thought this was going to be easy to write about , but it is a little tougher than I thought, it would be.

I think I need to back up a little. Some back ground. Was raised by my mom and stepdad(he was & still is a good dad). My stepdad was husband number 3 for my mom. She had my half brothers in her first marriage, then her and my dad had me and my sister. No children from third marriage. I grew up in a suburb of Chicago.

This is only the beginning.

In Faith,
Deb

Direction

God, has given me clear direction on what I should be putting on my blog. At the beginning, I said that I thought God was telling to me to share my life and he was. He made it clear that I needed to start with my background and how and why he is my Lord and Savior. I have been praying about this. I am glad that he answers prayer.
In Faith,
Deb

Too many directions!!

After I made my last post, I checked out some other blogs. Came back to mine. I think the reason I haven't been inspired to write here, is because I am going in too many directions. I need to stay focused on the direction that God has for me. A saying I heard some time ago. If satan can't get ya to sin, he'll make ya busy or at least distract ya. Now I am not saying that the devil made me do it. I just think that sometimes he screws with us like he did with Job. Sometimes we think God wants us to do it all. We can't. I have found that if I get too busy, I only half do things and everything suffers. So, I have been trying to really focus my attention on what I hear God telling me. Not what the world would have me doing.

If we are running in too many directions, do we do justice to what we are doing? Is it not better to do one thing really well, than try to do a lot of things that will only get half done, or not done very well? Only asking?

The first and foremost important thing we can do is find a quiet time. A time to spend with God. Jesus did find time to spend with the Father. I know that when I am spending time with God, I learn, I am less harried, I get refreshed. Joy builds in my heart. Then I can go on, to the next task.

I know I haven't logged anything new for several days. Just haven't been inspired. Been looking back and thinking about what God has done in my life and where I want to go.

Lost Sheep

I wrote the following for a sermon I gave at church. Was led to put it here.

Lost Sheep
As I studied the scriptures Jeremiah 18:1-11, Luke 15:1-10, I looked to see what they had in common, what would link them all together. I saw in Jeremiah that God’s chosen people once again have went their own way, they are worshiping idols, and pretty much doing as they please. They are not living as God would have them live. God is frustrated with them because he had done so much for their fathers and now the kids that are living in the promise land are doing the same things their father’s did. In fact at this time there has even been a split in Israel. Israel has become 2 nations Israel in the north and Judah to the south and God sends Jeremiah to Judah with a message for his people. Repent and I will be merciful “God says” .

Now I went on to read Luke 15: 1-10, it is the parable about the lost sheep. Jesus tells this story about a Shepard that leaves 99 sheep to go in search of his lost sheep. What does lost sheep have to do with the nation of Judah, well Judah just happens to be a lost sheep. Judah went her own way and she got lost. And just as a sheep gets lost, the Shepard goes to look for that lost sheep, God sent a Shepard to Judah to bring them home.

Now moving on to I Timothy 1: 12-17 we hear Paul being thankful that Jesus had given him strength and considered him faithful, and because of his faithfulness Paul was appointed to serve Christ. Some may say so what does Paul have to do with lost sheep? Paul was a lost sheep.

What ties these scriptures together is that they refer to the same thing, going your own way and getting lost, but also about being found.

As I read these scriptures I thought about my own life. I thought about how I have been a lost sheep at different times. How I have allowed everyday life get me off the path. How I have woke up and wondered where my Shepard is? I am so happy that my Shepard Jesus doesn’t quit looking for me till he finds me and brings me back to the flock. How does one become a lost sheep? It is so easy to get lost. Sheep are followers, and a lot of us are followers. We don’t even realize we are following someone or something until we wake up one day and realize we don’t know where we are. We wonder how did I get here.
So, many of us may say I am not lost. But some of us don’t even realize we are lost.

We think we have good lives. We may have a few troubles here and there, but for the most part life is ok. So how did we get lost?

We got lost because of our circumstances, society, family, friends, hobbies, greed, selfishness and this list is endless. Our lives are busy doing stuff, is it necessary stuff, well most of us need to work, but we can even let work get us lost. And what of all the other things that we cram into our life. For each of us it is different.

These scriptures we have heard today are talking to those who are lost, lost sheep. Those that live day by day, on their own strength, that do what they want, when they want, without any consideration for God. Those that don’t truly have a walk with God. There are people that can talk the talk, but not walk the walk.


Paul was lost, he persecuted Christians, he was a tax collector, he was a bad person, but God had plans for him. He didn’t want him to stay lost. God brought Paul back to the flock. God sent Jeremiah to bring Judah back to the flock. God has sent us a Shepard to bring us back to the flock.

For me theses scriptures are not so much about being lost as they are about hope, hope for the lost. We have hope in Jesus. We have hope because God does not want us to be lost. If he wasn’t a caring Shepard he never would have sent his only son to be the Shepard that would look for the lost and bring them home. We can see by these scriptures that God sent Shepard’s to bring the lost home.

He sent Jeremiah to Judah, He sent his son Jesus to the world, He sent Paul to many places and he even uses people today to be Shepards to bring the lost back to the flock. These scriptures also say that there are celebrations in heaven when one lost sheep is brought back to the flock. How exciting! We get excited to, when we see a person that seemed to be lost, turn their life around.


Yes, we have hope. The lost have hope. God’s word shows us that God never gives up on the lost. He keeps looking for them. He wants to find them and bring them home.


So if you don’t want to get lost or you want to be found, just pick up God’s living word and go to God in prayer. Talk to him every day. Read his word every day. He will be there for you. Follow God and you won’t be lost.

A New Year: Moving Forward

Happy New Year!! I am looking forward to 2008, not because 2007 was bad or anything. I just like moving forward. A friend said to me today that if we are not moving forward, we go backward. There is no staying where we are. I do not want to move backward. I have been moving forward in Christ ever since, I asked him to save me. Sometimes I have felt that I haven't done much moving forward and then I look back at where I have been. There has been a lot of forward movement. I have realized God moves us at a pace that we can handle. Change is not always easy and the old creatures in us don't realize that they were put to death,(like the bad guys from horror movies, they get killed off and keep coming back)so do some of the old creatures in us.(yes, there are more than one.) But, fortunately we have God that can help us get rid of the old creatures.Some of mine have left forever(are completely dead) and some, are harder to get rid of, because sometimes I think we keep them around. We shove them into dark corners and pretend they are not there and then when we least expect it, they jump out and we are like I thought I had gotten the best of that creature, so why is he still here, because we really did not get rid of him. God so graciously helps us to get rid of those unwanted creatures, when he knows that we are ready to face them and when we acknowledge them, they are goners. The creatures are different for all of us. But God is the same. He never changes. He is always there waiting for us to ask him into every aspect of our lives. Revelation 3:20 says"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." So, invite God to help you get rid of those pesky creatures.

On another note, I am asking for prayers for my children, they have both just made some major moves in their lives and I am just praying that God will move in their lives.

Would like to hear from anyone reading this.